Tammy’s Story

Behind every story of addiction is a person; a parent, a friend, a neighbour, who has faced challenges while experiencing addiction. Co-occurring conditions often intertwine in ways that make recovery more complex, as Tammy’s story shows.

“Well, where do I begin…how drugs can change a person so drastically, is harrowing!

Some of you know me as Tammy, possibly as a Mum, you may know my daughters, or because people like to gossip, you may simply know me as just some ‘local tramp’, either way… I am In fact an addict. The real me…well I don't think anyone actually "knows the real me". I barely even knew myself properly, until recently.

I am only just building back what took less than a year to lose, I'd even say it took a month or 2 to lose, and it will take over a year to get back what I've lost, and boy have I lost out.. I have literally lost everything. My car, my home but most importantly, my beautiful girls for the time being. I still see them, but their injuries can no longer be cured by mummy's magic kiss better and they'll be no silly bickers about who's turn it is to put the angel on the top of the Xmas tree this year. A house full of laughter replaced this year with a flat of silence and no smiling little faces. 14 years of raising my girls, but then I allowed drugs into our family.

Back in February of this year I signed a section 20 for my children to be placed into temporary foster care because I failed them, that's right, you read it correctly! I repeat with full shame .. I failed as a mother.

I was badly assaulted and the aftermath of that led to me to self medicate my pain and hurt by using crack cocaine and heroin. After a few months I'd gotten into such a massive hole that I couldn't manage to dig my way out. It felt as though the problems were tonnes of dirt being added into this hole, over the top of me and my children. The only way I can describe my choice at the time is that I got my children out of that hole first and up to a place of safety where they will be waiting for me to climb out behind them.

But It's never that simple when it comes to addiction though is it? See the problem is this; with addiction, becomes an attached stigma, with the stigma becomes avoidance and being avoided leads to isolation. And misery loves company. 

So what we then have is a roundabout where the addicts aren't really friends, but they are lonely and every addict deep down wants to get off. But where does getting off that roundabout lead to? Turned backs, tutting, huffing and whispering - "sorry, you can't come in here love", which is what I am told while attempting to get help from housing options. I am sorry that I lost my home and I am homeless and about the smell of body odour. “Would anyone care to lend me a little bit of spray?” - no... didn't think so. "We need to ask you to leave please"! - sorry but my socks are soaked and no I can't afford a coffee but can I just sit here quietly to keep warm? - no sorry out please.

Ultimately I ended up homeless, an empty shell, with nothing left to offer society, other than a habit which drains the NHS. The bridges start to look rather appealing all of a sudden.

Now I said that not to shock you, or scare you and upset anyone. But I told you that because it's my truth and it's my addiction and it's part of my recovery. But please next time you walk past someone who you believe to be homeless/on drugs, please can I ask you all to just at least ask how their day is because it's a very lonely world out there, especially with addiction in tow. It's hard to get better when society says you’re not worthy.

I am finally getting support now and with the hopes of rehab in a couple of weeks, but if there is anyone else in this position, I promise you there is hope. You are still worthy, you are valued and you are very much loved.

It does get better. x”

Tammy’s story is a powerful reminder that addiction rarely exists in isolation, it’s often rooted in trauma, loss, and mental health struggles. Her courage in sharing her truth challenges us all to look beyond stigma and see the person behind the label.

Recovery begins not only with treatment, but with compassion. Every act of kindness, every open door, every moment of being seen and heard, these are the things that help people like Tammy rebuild their lives.